Bad vs. Good (and Hands that are holding…)

I laid in bed last night awake and my first thought was “That was bad.” My second thought? “No, that was good.”

After a long day at the doctor’s office in the big city my gang of rednecks likes to unwind at the mall food court.  At the top of Evan’s favorite things to do list is the mall food court.  It’s his reward for a good day at the doctor.  Then he just wants to walk and walk in the mall.  We don’t go in many stores.  That’s a little too overwhelming for all of us.  Just walk.

But on this final trip on the escalator Evan lost his balance.  He gradually started going backwards while the escalator traveled up.   He said, “Uh-oh” and I had a hold of him.  I felt his balance shift.  But I couldn’t stop the force of gravity.  His biggest concern?  His prized bag of Apples to Apples cards was also headed downwards.  This is bad.  As I let him sit all I could think was why isn’t there an emergency stop in the middle of this thing? I’m going to have to wait for something bad to happen at the top before I can find the emergency stop.  By only the grace of God he scooted off without incident.  And so did the ‘cards bag’, fully intact.

As many special needs parents know, this is where it could have gone really bad.  This is meltdown territory.  More of God’s grace left us with a quiet corner of seats that we made it to safely.  Only a few tears of emotional letdown occurred. At this point I was ready to take on that escalator and go back to it and yell, “YOU SUCK!” While taking on all escalator inventors and telling them about the stupidity of their creation.  Evan was handling his meltdown well but my meltdown was just under wraps.

We high-tailed it out of the mall after everyone had calmed.  I turned on the radio and the first two songs had the words “Jesus by your side” over and over in them.  The third was telling me to “Exhale”.  Don’t tell me God isn’t still speaking today. He talks to me most often this way. I think he knows this is how I hear him best, through music.  And I don’t think any old song would have applied. Because the next song was about Jesus making me ‘Flawless.’  While that is true, it wasn’t really applicable here. I think God knew my attention span had ended and he finished his talk with me. I know God was reminding me that he was by our side. It took two songs for me to hear him say it.

It could have been a bad day. I am so thankful for this day’s ending and the reminder that Jesus was by my side. That makes it a good day.

Psalms 139:10 “… even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.”

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