There’s No Place Like Home

Photo property of Stephanie McKeever

Remember when I sang that stinkin’ Hillsong United Oceans song about trust without borders, blah, blah, blah? Ugh. I’m telling you right now, think twice before singing these things. God takes this very seriously. My borders were expanded into the deep waters again this week. No, I didn’t get to share the love of Jesus beachside where only the other half goes on holiday (that’s how the other half says vacation, isn’t it?). I spent the week on a new floor of our hospital; a new floor and fancy wing. I was out of my special needs comfort zone, if there is such a thing.

We have a favorite floor in our hospital. Our favorite nurses and favorite doctors are here. The patient care techs and custodians are like family on this floor. They hug us. Some of them pray for us. After the past year and a half of living in the hospital, it’s as close to home as a hospital can get. This visit wasn’t on that floor. It wasn’t like home at all. It was kindof a foreign land to us. New faces, some were wonderful and fought for us. Some, not so much. The TV was different, new ways to call for help, everything was different. No one hugged us or prayed for us. But that’s how visiting a new land with new borders goes, I guess?

So many times I want to click my heals three times like Dorothy and think to myself, “There’s no place like home.” But if I’m honest, when I’m home, beachside where the other half goes on holiday sounds pretty good. Life is demanding no matter where we go. Going out is so stressful. Staying home is lonely. The hospital is really not home. But a vacation? I can’t even think about how difficult taking all of this circus on a vacation would be. So, home is where I truly wish to be.

When I think about the Bible verses of Paul, I don’t remember when he wished for home. (Or a vacation.) Whether jailed or traversing across countries, what I remember most was he wished for others to hear the word of God; to learn of Jesus’ saving life. In Romans 1 he calls himself set apart for the gospel of God and is eager to preach the gospel to those in Rome. He can’t wait to get to this place where he knows there are those who claim to be wise and foolish, godlessness, and wickedness (Rome is starting to sound a lot like hospital life.). It’s here in this foreign place with foolish, darkened hearts where he is most unafraid of the gospel of Jesus. He can’t wait to get there. He expects a harvest of believers. Heck, you can’t drag me to therapy, IEP meetings, a (fairly swanky) hospital stay without kicking and screaming about all the torture it’s going to put me through. And there usually isn’t one word about my plan to share the gospel of Christ at these things. I’m often just wishing for home.

I want my borders expanded, my way. Sharing this love I have, the love of Jesus, is a risk. But, Jesus took that same risk, didn’t he? There was no guarantee I would say yes to his love. Yet, he risked it all for me. (from The Way of Abundance, Ann Voskamp) Seems I could risk a little bit of love, some of my special needs comfort to share the love of Jesus when He puts me in the deep waters.

{Read this and more at: Key Ministry}

Favorite Song This Week: Gracefully Broken // Matt Redman


Momma Said There’d Be Days Like This

🎵”Momma said there’d be days like this, there’d be days like this, my momma said.” 🎶

You ever sit and listen to someone go on whine about their day and want to stop them and ask, “Wait. Is this about your child being up all night with an OCD thought that will not let them sleep, a medical need that kept you on your knees to God all day long, or pediatric cancer? No? It’s only a long line in the grocery store, crabby fellow workmates, a washing machine gone bad; or just a bad day in general? Sit Down. Because I’ve got some stories for you.”

I began this Mother’s Day with three nasty-grams by 11:00am. One straight out of bed was from the dog. (I swear she’s never liked me and this was her way of saying, “Happy Mom’s Day to ya’, Lady!”) All the praise hands I did not step in it.

However, this Mother’s Day I am thankful to be home. Sure, wouldn’t we all love to be pampered in a spa, by the warm ocean, with a little, blue drink with an umbrella in it? But, I think we moms with special needs our lives don’t have to think too far to just be thankful for home.

We’ve seen the hospitals. We’ve seen middle of the store meltdowns. We’ve been called and emailed by schools over and over. We’ve been in emergency rooms at midnight. Maybe you’ve even taken those life flight helicopter rides. This Sunday, I’m thankful for home.

I’m staring at (a lot of) dust right now. I have so much medical equipment I can’t find anymore places to put it so it’s just out everywhere all over the house. Dirty dishes fill the sink. But we are home. Bring on the nasties of the day. There may be days like this, even on Mother’s Day. But at least they are at home sweet home.

I Am Surrounded

From Bob Goff’s book, Love Does.

“Oh, my. You have your hands full.” I’ve heard it. It’s been said to me too many times to count. Go on, hands up. I know it has been said to you, too. How many of you have had heard this, not just once, but so many well-meaning times? There is no doubt in my mind, people, special needs has me surrounded. But, it’s not what you’re thinking.

My open mouth/insert foot thing to say to these people is not always sweet and full of God’s goodness and bless your heart love. Shocker, I know. Sometimes, I am so dumbfounded (by the grace of God) I have no words at all. I just stare. As a parent of a child with special needs I have heard this since the time of his birth. Later, when we decided to become a foster family you would have thought I grew two heads when we left the house with a typical teenager, special needs teenager and a baby. Now, as we have this new life with an all new medical diagnosis, people cannot help but shake their heads in, you know that head-shaking look … “She needs all the prayer she can get.”

Yeah, there are days that get me down. But we have a choice in this special needs life to whine or worship during those days. And, I can’t find many bible verses leading me to whining.

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.” (1 Peter 1:6 NIV)

I’m pretty sure Moses had his hands full. One could say he not only had full hands, but a full life. Esther took bravery to the next level. I’m also thinking Mary and Joseph had their hands full. I mean, my kid is not Jesus.

I don’t think my kindof average midwestern life is anywhere near biblical. But, what I am starting to think is God doesn’t use empty hands. Heck, aren’t idle hands for the devil’s use, anyway? God doesn’t always answer in the immediate. Sometimes we wait. And wait. With full hands. But his word leads us to him every time:

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in Him.” (Psalm 40:1-3 NIV)

We wait. Patiently. He hears. He lifts. Gives us a song. Many will see. Many will trust in Him.

God has given me a song recently. I am surrounded. I am surrounded every day by the things of this world. There are things that will weigh me down and hold me in the slimy pit of whining and tears and woe is me. But today, I am going to remember I am also surrounded by something bigger. Someone. I am surrounded by God. Thank you, Michael W. Smith, for giving me a fight song to take on the battles of the day.

What is your new song when special needs has you surrounded? Do you have one? Or do you have go-to Bible verse that lifts your head every time? Let’s hear it!

“and provide for those who grieve in Zion — to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of the spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.” (Isaiah 61:3 NIV)

** Also read at Key Ministry **

What I’m Reading …

I’ve gotten into a few books again. Sometimes life gets in the way of hobbies that require sitting still and holding one’s attention for long periods of time. Children can be that way. These past weeks we’ve had a little normality in our house again. Here’s what I’m reading …

Wonder by R.J. Palacio: Everyone and their brother and their brother’s kids loved this book. And so did I. For a book aimed at young adults it is longer than I expected. While it is broken up into easy chapters, it is a lengthy read. Palacio admits in her bio the book is based on a passing encounter with a young person who has a physical disability. I was loving every part of the book up until this mere acquaintance and not a real-life knowledge of someone who has developmental disabilities became obvious in her choice of words. Her use of the R-word tainted the remainder of the book for me. However, the book was a good representation of how special needs parents fight to have their children belong and there will always be others who just do not understand this. But in the end our hope is a community of people stand up and do the right thing for the good of everyone.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman: This book has been sitting on my shelf for a long time. I bought it back when everyone was raving about it’s worth. I could not get into a book about a grumpy old man. I would start it, read a page, put it back. Start again, read one more page, put it back again. Finally, I pushed through those beginning pages and it had me hooked. It’s slow start became a real life story that pulled me into a life that I could honestly understand. And by the end it had me in tears. This man called Ove was the thing, the grumpy old man, who held his community together. Just like it’s cover says, first impressions are unreliable sometimes.

Mental Health and the Church by Stephen Grcevich, MD: Dr. G is so stinkin’ smart this book is taking me more time to work my way through it. I want to give it all of my attention. He has packed many years of his experience and knowledge into a handbook for us and our churches. I’ll let you know when I finish and give you my thoughts. So far, it has not disappointed.

Last year so many of my books revolved around illness and the reliance on God during these difficult times. This year, it seems by books are leaning towards community. Funny, since we are so isolated these days. Must be something I long for underneath it all? My introvert self would be in its happy place spending days alone with books on books. But, I think God is calling us to show others in our community His glory in bigger ways than my nose in a book.

Up next on my reading list, besides the rest of Dr. G’s Mental Health book, is: The Way of Abundance by Ann Voskamp. I’ve already started it and LOVE it. And I saw an interview with Brad Meltzer that prompted me to buy his book, The Escape Artist. It sounded like interesting history within a suspense novel. Love those!

Are you reading anything good?

Easter is for You, too

I don’t know where you are with God right now. But, I want you to know Easter is for you, too. Jesus died for us while we were still sinners. He died for us while we were still hurting for our child’s unknown future. He hung on a cross for us knowing we would need a Savior to cry out to in the middle of long nights. He rose again three days later to give us hope in more than this crazy special needs life we live. If you hear nothing else from me, I hope you hear the Easter message is for you. Jesus came for you.

” Darkness fell, His friends scattered, hope seemed lost – But Heaven just started counting to three.” ~ Bob Goff